Love – Putting the Horse Before the Cart

After Narcissistic Abuse

2newhangon.jpg

In order to form healthy relationships, certain elements or building blocks are necessary for healthy attachment:  Intimacy or knowing the other person, trusting that person, relying on that person, committing to that person and then depending on the type of relationship, adding the element of sexual intimacy.

It’s very common in the aftermath of this abuse that targets have a great fear and mistrust of ourselves in the area of “love” that we shun the idea all together. We fear that we will not be able to discern healthy love from toxic love whether that comes from another narcissist or someone equally unhealthy.

In order for us to build the type of healthy relationships we desire after having endured narcissistic abuse, we must come to understand how the 4 elements mentioned above build upon eachother and form the foundation of a healthy relationship.

Narcissistic Abuse – What Went Wrong?

In narcissistic relationships, the…

View original post 1,329 more words

We all have an expiration date with a Narcissist! Understanding the attachment to a Narcissist! The denial and cognitive dissonance that distorts our normal reality.

After Narcissistic Abuse

PhotoFunia Motivator Regular 2015-07-16 04 42 54

Almost every target/victim that has been abused by a Narcissist goes through a long and arduous period of emotional denial. The denial is based on the emotional connection (love) because a target/victim hangs on to the belief that this Narcissist loved them and it is very hard to let go of that. A normal person just can’t turn love OFF – but a Narcissist can turn it off just as easily as they turned it on because love is a tool they use to con people! They DON’T love because they don’t have the emotions or empathy to support it! So we all had an expiration date that was set in stone by the Narcissist when something newer came along.

Because there was LOVE involved with this person (the Narcissist,) we believe that they could have NEVER committed the atrocities that stand before us! Love is a VERY strong emotional…

View original post 5,121 more words

Machinations, manipulations, and all lies. Breaking and dispelling the myth behind that love that has trapped you emotionally to a very destructive and sadistic Narcissist.

Amazingly helpful and informative!

After Narcissistic Abuse

PhotoFunia Motivator Regular 2015-10-16 02 17 05

You have been working your way up to this day for a very long time and just when you think you are finally ready and determined to leave because you know that you HAVE to get out of this relationship, the Narcissist in your life starts manipulating your emotions and turning them upside down and every which way with guilt, intimidation and even fear tactics! OR on the other end of the spectrum looks you in the eyes and tells you the exact words you have been waiting to hear – “I love you so much, I will do anything to change, and save us or I love you more than life itself!” There it is again that dizzying ride on that Narcissist’s roller coaster and you just can’t get off! You thought you were at the point of ‘enough is enough’ but before you know it the Narcissist has…

View original post 4,050 more words